Expectations

Lately I've tried to take on a new mantra. I go through life trying to not set myself up with too many expectations. It's kind of like when you go to a movie, expecting it to be great, and it really wasn't, and you spend all evening being disappointed? Well, I used to do that to lots of things in my life, which lead to disappointment...holidays, birthday parties that I'd kill myself planning and baking for, date nights with my hubby where we'd just sit and eat and have nothing to talk about, looking for that perfect house that we could afford and not finding what we thought we wanted, baking with the kids in the kitchen, going to the gym and doing South Beach and still not losing that much weight(this one is the hardest)...I try to not expect too much of the vacations that we take the kids on as well. I used to set myself up to thing that it was going to be the best vacation ever, not thinking about the extra packing, bickering, whining, and parenting I was going to have to do. Now I try to just enjoy each moment and don't sweat the small stuff. This gets easier as my kids get older as well and we as parents gain back some of that freedom we lost from having young children. I'm not sure where exactly I'm going with this, but I guess I'm at a point where I'm happier just letting things happen all the while doing my best to plan for life events so as to just be able to be ENOUGH. I mean enough in the sense that my kids have snacks, we're safe, there aren't too many surprises, and we'll make the best with the outcome. Enough. I was recently taught quite a bit of patience along with my expectations last weekend. My mom and I have been on the lookout for a horse that we could ride but also that the kids could ride. We found him in Corning, which is about 2 1/2 hours away. Off we went with her horse trailer on it's maiden voyage with Grandpa and Amanda. He is an Arabian/Quarter horse cross named Tacoma. We were somewhat leery since we prefer the more grounded mind and stocky build of the Quarter horse and don't care for the flighty thin Arab frame and attitude. The seller assured us that although he was more Arab in build he acts like a Quarter horse. When we showed up our first thought was that he was kind of skinny, but boy was he pretty. He was also very calm. He was actually yawning when they were riding him around and Amanda led him down the driveway towards the trailer. These were all GREAT signs. The lady said he was slow and you had to really get on him to get him to go but that he had been used to work their horse ranch up north and camped up there during the summer. We brought him home and my mom started working on his nutrition to get his hair and feet in order. Since my mom's main horse, Tater was home from the trainer we decided to go for a short ride last weekend...no expectations since she is still young and needs more time to get used to the trails. Well, let me say I at least expected Tacoma to be slower and calm. He wasn't. On the way out he pretty much trotted down the steep dirt hills and was so excited to be out on the trails I had to constantly stop him to wait for Tater to catch up. He was the most sure footed trail horse I've ever been on. Then all hell broke loose when a deer came out from behind a tree. He freaked out and lunged sideways with 2 big jumps and I couldn't recover. Off I came into the star thistle and he trotted off under a tree while I tried to catch my breath and stand up straight. Then he spooked at EVERYTHING he had already walked past on the way home. OK, can I at least say my expectations were to have a calm horse and one that was levelheaded enough to follow my commands. Let's just say my confidence is a little shot, my arm is huge and purple, along with my butt, and my expectations weren't met. That's the first time I've come off of a horse like that. Damn it hurts and I'm lucky there weren't any rocks where I landed. I guess I've got a little more learning to do about expectations...and he's got some work to do with me in the arena before I take him out again or let the kids ride him. Life threw me a curve ball and now I have to deal with the outcome. Now I have to decide what commitment level I'm willing to have and how much work I'm going to need to do to learn how to work with Tacoma. That means trailering him to the trainer's house and consistently working to learn about him, and to learn a lot myself. I guess expectations will have to be set based on the unknown and I'll just have to go with my gut. I do think he's worth it. He is one sweet boy and quite a looker. I'd show you but I can't exactly remember where I put my camera after I came off of him. I EXPECT to find it though...but for today, I'm off to enjoy a day and evening without kids, which is an uncommon event here and I EXPECT to take advantage of it. Rambling done, lucky stars thanked, and a shower calling my name. Peace out!